I'm back.

I have spent the last few days at Eoin's Dad's place while he's been housesitting. It has been SO lovely and so relaxing. My boss told me this morning that I look well rested. That lasted about four hours at work until I was wearing my grumpy face again. I have to get out of that place. We pretty much just relaxed the whole time, watched movies, ate good food, read books, enjoyed each other's company etc. It felt like the whole time we were nuturing each other? That sounds weird. For example, he would make me porridge, and I'd make him coffee and scratch his back. One night he ran a romantic bath for me, candles, scents, music... it was amazing. I was feeling stressed out, and he calmed me down. The best day though, was a whimsical day trip. It was about 2pm, and I was like "Let's go up north for the day". That was the last of it. We were on our way. We stopped at the honey centre and checked it out, got some drinks. Then we went to Martins Bay, somewhere I used to spend a lot of time during summers growing up. It was just as it always was. I had my first swim of the summer and my god it was heaven. So warm, so lovely. We played really childish games and everything was right with the world. Haha. Then we climb up this cliff and sat in long grass looking out at the sea. I never suspected I would turn into such a cheeseball. I hope to keep him around for a while.

On the work front, Okra has given me a trial. Conveniantly enough for them, its on the public holiday, the plan to pay me less than my current wage, and not time in a half. They want to do it under the table, and if they hire me I will again be under the table and uncontracted. Cheeky little shits. Ive decided to call them and turn them down. That's dodgy as. I've worked uncontracted before and it was shit. There's a lot more at stake now, paying rent etc, so I need to keep myself secure. I guess it's not the place for me to be. Oh well! :)

One of my flat mates is moving out in a month, and another one of my flat mates has a friend who is apparently now staying in our lounge because she needs somewhere to stay. So five people live in this house. Great -_- . Her name is also Bex. Apparently she's going to be moving in when Bede moves out. I have a feeling that the reason she needs a place to stay is because she hadn't been paying rent where she was. Concerns! I also really loathe the idea of living with a girl. I hadn't realised I had had such issues with it. Trying to figure out where that comes from, but I think I have an idea.

I'm thinking about whats going to make me happiest, and I'm thinking about getting cafe work out west while looking for a better job still, and moving back there. I really love it. It's peaceful and its by all the places and most of the people I love. I think that may be what's best, although its complicated in it's own ways. I wouldn't know how to go about it, and I feel like I'd be putting a lot of people out by doing it. I hope not. I'm just going to take it as it comes I guess. Deal with things as they do, and take opportunities. It's this feeling of being in limbo that's getting to me.

I took out the last of my nipple piercings last week. Breaking down that barrier of needing to have thick skin, or be tough. Not to other people, but to myself. To kind of, show myself I guess, what I can deal with. Externalising some stuff that was happening internally. Since I've moved out, I've had only two piercings, and neither of them were that satisfying. It feels good to be removing that layer of skin and finding myself afresh. I'm suprised that I don't miss them. I have under half of my ear piercings too. Sunday will be week 5 of not smoking, which ties in aswell. I'm feeling healthy I think. A little antisocial, but healthy.

Interesting.